Episode 13
Meet Mira Griffiths - Leadership Coach, The Wartime Refugee Perspective
Last week we explored leadership insights from that elite group of warriors known as the Navy SEALS, well trained for combat in extreme, uncertain and unstable times. This week we take a different perspective, still very much within the scope of leading through a crisis, dealing with an enemy, riding the emotional roller coaster of our entirely changed lives but this time through the lens of a wartime refugee. What can we learn from her experience? How did she make the shift from victim to inspirational coach? Why this crisis can be a source for creativity to flourish and why authentic leadership is so important right now – TODAY!
In this episode you’ll meet Mira Griffiths, Mira grew up in the time of the civil war in the country previously known as Yugoslavia, she and her family had to flee the city she was born in and leave everything to be destroyed during the war. Mira has since lived and worked in Serbia, UAE & Germany and her work has always been related to helping people overcome the consequences of physical and psychological trauma, loss and pain in their life in general, relationships, work, and the future. Helping them understand who they are and how their experience is created which consequently brings back authenticity, aliveness, courage, creativity, joy, love and compassion back in their lives.
Mira has a BSc in Physiotherapy, Advanced Diploma in Hypnotherapy, Counselling and Psychology, Diploma in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and Advanced Pain Management, and she has completed her NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Masters, is a Certified NLP and Certified Clarity Coach. She also studied emotions and human behavior through the Paul Eckman International Institute. Mira is a co-founder along with her husband, Peter Griffiths of The Mind Takeaway, a company committed to supporting leaders to grow and become the best that they can be. Mira and Peter have created a groundbreaking online program people can join from any part of the world, visit https://www.themindtakeaway.com/authentic-leadership-project for more information or contact Mira directly via email info@themindtakeaway.com
Mira and Peter firmly believe the world needs more compassionate and authentic leaders who are able to meet the complex needs of the everchanging environments we live and work in.
Transcript
[Transcript]
[:[00:00:39] As she interviews some of the finest leadership minds in the quest. For gravitas,
[:[00:01:13] Ourselves, our teams, our business, maybe even our industry through this crisis, the Corona virus crisis. And last week we went straight to. That elite group of warriors for insight and guidance on leading through this crisis, because we are very much in a war time scenario, the enemy is unseen and somewhat unknown and certainly uncertain.
[:[00:02:14] Today, you're going to meet mirror Griffiths, no relation. I know she sounds like she might be Mira and her husband run a company called the mind takeaway based in Berlin in Germany, we share a common bond and a mission to develop authentic leaders for the future. Nearer grew up in the time of civil war in a country, previously known as Yugoslavia.
[:[00:03:18] And. Brings back authenticity, this feeling of being alive of courage, of creativity and of joy back into their lives. Neeraj is more than qualified. Tried to speak to us on this issue of authentic leadership after going through something so traumatic, not only because of her experience as a refugee. But because of what she's done since then, Mira has a BSC in physiotherapy and advanced diploma in hypnotherapy counseling and psychology, a diploma in CBT, which is cognitive behavioral therapy, [00:04:00] and also has completed her.
[:[00:04:37] Mirror is the co-founder of the mind to take away our company that she runs with her husband, Peter Griffiths. They are committed to developing more compassionate and authentic leaders who are able to meet the complex needs of the ever-changing environments. We live and work in. And you can find more about [00:05:00] the main takeaway in the show notes.
[:[00:05:07] Mira: [00:05:07] Thank you. And thank you very much for having me.
[:[00:05:27] Mira: [00:05:27] Well, venava spells war started back home, but.
[:[00:06:03] What I've learned is that anything, anything can happen. Anytime we learn via live in uncertainty all the time. I mean, we call this situation and, you know, big uncertainty, what's going to happen with the economy and with companies and with our own health, with our families. But they are nuts more or less certain right now than we were before it happened for me.
[:[00:07:09] VR builds to survive. Can you
[:[00:07:32] Um, so tell us a little bit about what, what that must have felt like, and if you could just give us some background, uh, to what was happening in Yugoslavia at the time.
[:[00:08:06] One precedent. Uh, what happened is that some countries decided to split some politicians, uh, of their republics, individual republics decided to split. And what they did is they created lots of fear amongst the people they started. Creating separation between the people. Uh, they started, you know, stories were coming out that, you know, your neighbor is creation or your neighbor is Serbian.
[:[00:09:04] They stop. Believing what they actually know. They stop believing that those people are their friends and they're connected much more than even relatives because you know, who is going to help you more than your first door neighbor when you need it. And they, they, you forget, you know, they forget what they knew to be true.
[:[00:09:59] Jan: [00:09:59] Yeah, [00:10:00] that's, that's crazy. How will this fear, how does that, I mean, your, your basic existence is being threatened, right? When you, when you, when you're talking about war and I think there's. There's a lot of that going on right now. Right. People's very basic existence is being threatened. People are losing their job.
[:[00:10:36] Mira: [00:10:36] Well, not at the time, because I think what was happening then is that you had to, um, You had to leave, you had to survive.
[:[00:11:13] But what I've noticed is that people who were using the situation, there were people who were using this situation, that they were going back afterwards, if they could, and they were stealing. So that's probably because they feared. For their future and they needed to accumulate whatever, uh, was there for them.
[:[00:12:05] If you need it, which is actually in reality, not the case. Everybody likes to help others. I mean, there are probably a few people that want, but in, in, you know, in majority, people are actually really generous. So if somebody came to you right now and asked for some food or a toilet paper or, or some coffee, even in, in best of times, you will be asked, of course no problems.
[:[00:12:33] Jan: [00:12:33] that's so true. Yeah. And we see that playing out right now. Right. We see, we see the fear and we see the need to protect oneself. You know, you see people fighting over toilet paper, you see it in social media, right. So is there, there's this need to, as you say, accumulate to protect your own interest, but there is also this human nature part of it that we will give and help others.
[:[00:13:09] Mira: [00:13:09] Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So what,
[:[00:13:22] You, you did, you were never able to
[:[00:13:45] What wasn't destroyed because of war. It was destroyed later on by people who were angry, who stayed over there. And, um, so my first time I went there, so war was 91, [00:14:00] 1991. When I left first time I went, there was, uh, 2008. My father never went back. My mom went mum. Actually my mum went there during the war to see her parents that were dying in the hospitals.
[:[00:14:38] Jan: [00:14:38] yeah. That's that's drive and determination.
[:[00:15:06] Do you come through and life experience like that? You just
[:[00:15:35] Not this one, not big one, not war, but there's so many situations in our lives where we. That'd we dealt bit, whatever it was there in front of us that we didn't expect didn't want, but it happened. And, um, you just do it's, it's really interesting that human mind has an extreme potential to [00:16:00] make sense of things, to create.
[:[00:16:32] So necessity is mother of invention. I think we just do that. I remember my parents were doing things that they never taught doing in order to survive. Um, we lived in. Houses that they could never imagine living before that. And we survived and what's really interesting and what I used to be scared even later on when it all passed the [00:17:00] night, you know, even you go through the experience and you sometimes forget how resilient you actually are, and then you start fearing, you know what, if I lose all the money and I ended up being on the street, And that, because this is going to happen, but because I don't think I would be able to deal with that.
[:[00:17:46] Doesn't break you. It doesn't break you at all. It just really makes you stronger. At what
[:[00:18:10] And you said, okay, you know, this has happened to me. This is awful, but you know, I am onward and upward and this is where I'm going. And your mindset changed. Well, what was that process like? Well,
[:[00:18:36] It was when my dad passed away because it seemed like because he was alive, I could survive anything. Because he was a strong father figure and a really strong leader and somebody that you trust, not just me, but many people around. And, um, and when he passed away, I felt that I lost [00:19:00] that strength. And this is the period where I was very scared.
[:[00:19:50] Um, so I kind of know if it ever happened that, you know, I need to run or if I lost everything, I know I have friends [00:20:00] who will. Allowed me to crash in their couch and they ask questions because I know that I would do the same for them. Um, I, and I've developed a really strong connection with my wisdom.
[:[00:20:46] Mira: [00:20:46] Hmm. Because of the trauma of the war. And I guess being a refugee and feeling. Different than others. And I don't think it's just because I was a refugee, [00:21:00] many other people feel that they need to, they need to blend in. They need to become like others. They need to, uh, you know, via very. Seldomly encouraged to behave like ourselves.
[:[00:21:46] I was trying to, uh, change the way I looked. So, uh, I was straight, so it was so much stress trying to be somebody else that, [00:22:00] excuse me, that my,
[:[00:22:36] Because all your energy is focused on how you're not good enough. And you're trying to be like somebody else.
[:[00:23:05] Who they think they should be and how they think they should lead through this crisis. And you and I have had many conversations about why being authentic, being that authentic person in yourself and being an authentic leader is so important right now. Whether you're leading yourself, your team, your company, or your industry through this pandemic.
[:[00:23:51] Mira: [00:23:51] because VIT. Without intensity. It's not just you're being yourself, but you're comfortable [00:24:00] being yourself.
[:[00:24:28] And you create really strong bonds and connections with people. So when something like this, for example happens, you have people that real, uh, hold your back. You have people that will support your idea, even though it could be totally crazy. You have people who will agree to do things that may be for Mabel.
[:[00:25:24] Or for a company to, in this situation not to go under. So people are willing to do things for you and for your company, for example, or if you're a manager or whatever situation is that may not be for their direct benefit, but veal will save many more people in the long run. Other thing is that when you're authentic, you're not wasting time listening to all those voices in your [00:26:00] head head telling y'all, you should be doing this, or you're not good enough.
[:[00:26:39] Um, creativity and innovation, you know, I can not be busier right now. I heard people saying that they're bored. They have nothing to do. Yes. I'm not creating new programs or not, not, you know, there is no new clients at the moment, [00:27:00] but I have so many other things to do that. I was that I get ideas for right now because my brain is operating on a very different level.
[:[00:27:17] Jan: [00:27:17] And because the, the rules are changed, you know, th th the, Oh, yeah. The daily rules, our routines are changed. And whilst that's a bit shocking in the beginning, and we go through this sort of grief cycle that we've talked about, but it's also a tremendous opportunity to say, okay, now the rules.
[:[00:28:02] So as we talked, I said, you know, this is use the crisis, use the pandemic as the opportunity to change that, to change the culture, to turn those cameras on. Cause you need those cameras on right now to have that. That human connection and interaction. It's just a small example, but there are so many things right now that we can challenge the way things were done in the past to make it better for the future.
[:[00:28:49] Mira: [00:28:49] not to go for it.
[:[00:29:20] That was a situation situation. Does it make you better? Or a worse person? Situation is just another opportunity to learn something. Yeah. Yeah. And it, it was the, it was that realization that, that you're not better or worse because, because something had happened to you. Or because at the moment you've made a mistake, it's an opportunity to learn.
[:[00:30:10] Jan: [00:30:10] And you're here from a far, far more severe situation. You're actually came through war and lost everything.
[:[00:30:49] But you've also committed yourself, all the, the training that you, you have the qualifications that you have to help other people. So tell us more about [00:31:00] your personal mission and how you're doing that.
[:[00:31:17] And I remember it was, I think it was. I was 13, 14 years old when I decided that I wanted to be a physiotherapist and it was because I wanted to help people stop feeling pain. It was, it was a time of lots of pain then.
[:[00:32:09] You don't need to be a therapist in order to change somebody's life. My life. As being influenced by people that vary my life, that were my bosses in a positive or in a negative way. So we can always ask ourselves, how do you, how do you want to influence other people? How do you want to help them grow? Or you want to, uh, help them become smaller than they than what they are.
[:[00:33:06] There's no reason why I'm doing that is because it just makes sense VR in this way, helping much more people making better decisions. I mean, my ultimate goal is, is a world with no war. And I think if we had leaders that understood that we really don't need Wars, that we can all live together without it.
[:[00:33:41] Jan: [00:33:41] that you're certainly, you know, you're well on your way to making that happen. Let's talk about fear, the fear that some leaders are feeling right now. Leading through this crisis, we see a tendency [00:34:00] for people to move into command and control mode.
[:[00:34:30] They, they, they don't want to trust and let go. What's your thought on that?
[:[00:35:01] So there's the. The bottom of where all that comes from is, is fear. So, you know, from fear, we do stuff that there's no common sense, you know, V shout to people, the, um, we control them the even star Wars because of it, because our own personal fear. It is very common that a person is trying to control their environment.
[:[00:36:02] However it all comes to it all comes to their own personal insecurity.
[:[00:36:28] Mira: [00:36:28] Absolutely, absolutely. Uh, fear and. And, you know, micromanagement and not trusting people, not having that connection between them is, is just breaking everything apart. You know, there is even going back to that, uh, the even know that emotion of love and connection is helping [00:37:00] ourselves to grow in our body and the emotion of fear.
[:[00:37:43] And then we make mistakes. It's, uh, it's much worse to pretend that, you know, something and act. As, as if that's true and make big, big mistakes and not [00:38:00] listen to people around, do what they're telling you then say, I don't know who else maybe knows better than, than I do. And then you make a decision what to do, and that's actually that connects you with the people around you.
[:[00:38:44] Just
[:[00:39:25] This is the time to embrace your authentic self, your true, authentic self. This is the time to do it. It's now.
[:[00:39:57] And if you want to grow from this, if you want [00:40:00] to learn from this, if you want to, if you want to survive this, you need to adapt. And. Staying and trying forcefully to do whatever you did before is going to go down the rabbit hole because it's a very different circumstance and, and you cannot do the same thing that you did before.
[:[00:40:26] Jan: [00:40:26] impossible. Yes. Yeah. That's, that's so true. Well, I think that certainly I have learned a lot from you today. You are an inspiration to many, and I hope that our audience will feel the same way. And we'll see this as an opportunity to embrace it authenticity and step up and lead, like never before and with that Mira Griffis.
[:[00:40:58] If you enjoyed [00:41:00] listening to this podcast and you found something of value that will help. You on your quest for your gravitas, then please share with your friends and colleagues and subscribe. Visit us@gravitasdetroit.com to find out more. .
