Finding the light - My Personal Journey

[Transcript]

00:03

Welcome to the Finding Gravitas podcast brought to you by Gravitas Detroit. Looking to become a more authentic leader. Finding Gravitas is the podcast for you. Gravitas is the ultimate leadership quality that draws people in. It's an irresistible force encompassing all the traits of authentic leadership, Join your podcast host, Jan Griffiths that passionate rebellious farmer's daughter from Wales, entrepreneur, leadership coach, keynote speaker, one of the top 100 leading women in the automotive industry as she interviews some of the finest leadership minds in the quest for gravitas.

Jan Griffiths: 00:50

It's 2021, And oh, what a year 2020 has been, we've seen and done things that we never thought possible. That's not what this episode is about. I promise. In this episode, I'm not going to use the term new normal. We're not going to talk about the challenges of working from home, or zoom or Zoom fatigue. And I'm not going to use the word transformation or pivot. Nope. This is a much more personal episode. I want to share with you today, my journey along the path of authentic leadership. After all, this podcast is called Finding Gravitas. Gravitas is the hallmark of authentic leadership. And as you know, you can't become a great leader, a truly authentic leader of other people, until you know how to lead yourself. And I've learned a lot about that in 2020. Do I have it? All right? Oh, absolutely not. It's a journey. We're constantly evolving as human beings. And we're constantly striving to live our lives, in line with our values and to be truly authentic. And I've made great strides in my own personal journey and becoming an authentic leader of my own life. And this is what I want to share with you today.

Jan Griffiths: 02:12

It's all about getting better every single day, in how you live your life, how you lead your life. And then of course, how you lead others. I'm gonna go back a few years, about 2016 timeframe. When I first started questioning this idea of authentic leadership before I really knew what it was, I was getting ready for a presentation to a chamber of commerce down in Gaston, Alabama, which by the way, I received some plaque from my colleagues from doing that. But that's a story for another day. And the audience wanted me to present my story, basically, how did I get to the position I was in what's it like to lead a global supply chain group for a major tier one company, they wanted to hear that story. And as I put the presentation together, I struggled, because I thought that it should have some sort of corporate structure or feel to it and be more than just my personal stories. There was this compulsion to add in some corporate slides or learnings for some key thought leaders about how to achieve team performance and alignment of goals and objectives. I felt somehow I had to fit this mold, and not have just the storytelling approach. And even though it didn't really resonate with me, I felt that I had to do that. So my presentation was a mix of some personal photographs, my stories, key learnings I gained along the way. And I shared this with the audience. And I felt that would meet the expectation. But you know what's funny, when I presented my stories, you could see the energy change in the room. It really resonated with the audience. There were times when they were on their feet clapping when I talked about those, those personal moments. But when I talked through those corporate slides, they didn't resonate with the audience at all.

Jan Griffiths: 04:20

Now, I don't know whether it's because they could sense that I wasn't comfortable with it. I wasn't sure. But then as I thought about it, I realized that as human beings, since the beginning of time we relate to each other through this idea of storytelling. And when you start to stray further away from that, and yes, start to stray into trying to fit a mold that somebody else has put on you, then the less effective that communication and the ability to connect actually is we are storytellers as human beings and that will was a real eye opener for me. That's when I really started to think about authentic leadership.

Jan Griffiths: 05:08

And in that presentation, I titled it, "Dream it. Brand it. Own it", because my story really fell into three parts, not sequentially in a timeline kind of way. But this three major chunks, I think of focus areas of focus that you need to work on, in order to lead yourself and lead others. And I look at this as dream, it is the first one, it's how you, you develop a bold vision for yourself, and you don't let others hold you back or tell you that you can't be something or do something. You've heard me say many times the thought that this little farm girl from the Welsh Hills would ever be in Detroit, and one of the top 100 leading women in automotive was quite ridiculous. So this idea of breaking through the expectations and barriers that exist in your own head is really important. And I love speaking about the dream it, that part of my journey, and then brand it because that's how you show up in life, both in your professional life and your personal life. What is your personal brand? What are your habits and behaviors? What are your values? It's how you live your life, and then own it is about the execution part of it. So how do you make it all happen? And how do you hold yourself accountable. And it was such a telling sign to me that the storytelling was the part that resonated with the audience. And so my "dream it. brand it. own it" methodology was born. And I continue to use it as a foundation for my coaching business. Yet, all this being said, still, in the corporate world today, you'll often hear people say things like, there's no time for my team to be spending on soft skills and soft stuff, we have real work to do, we've got numbers to achieve. This is just a waste of time, this is fluff, this is a nice to have, we've got a business to run.

Jan Griffiths: 07:18

Okay, but if we don't take the time to connect with each other as human beings, and do this foundational work and talk to each other, as human beings, not with corporate structure, and methodologies, and how to be successful books, and if you follow this cookie cutter approach you it will assure your success. No. It's about being authentic, being real. And using this art of storytelling, we're not going to get the high performance that we so desperately desire in our teams today. And we certainly are not going to be able to call ourselves authentic leaders, if we don't get back to some of these very basic connections with each other as human beings. And I learned that lesson again, just a few months ago, I held a workshop with a client and one of the very first things we did was to share with each other a chart with two images on it, something we enjoy doing as children and another thing we enjoyed doing during the pandemic. And it's amazing the conversation, the camaraderie that it brought together, it really started to bond the team. And then we moved into strengths, and we focused on each other's strengths. Not once did we talk about weaknesses. But it's a very powerful moment when people in your team are talking to you about what they perceive as your strengths was almost an emotional moment. And it's these kinds of workshops and techniques that we need to do more of. And that's when we start to find out who we really are and what our own authentic leadership is all about. Over the many decades that I've been in the corporate world, I've questioned my authentic leadership style. I would strive to fit a leadership model or mold that I thought was the way that you were supposed to be and you were supposed to behave in many meetings where I sat in a room full of people. And you know, you always have that sort of inner group that's aligned with the boss. And when they say that they're going to make a decision or go a certain way. If you don't go along with that you're considered weak. And they will point out that you're weak. If you don't support the decision, even though you might know that it's wrong. I know some of you out there can relate to exactly what I'm talking about. And I sat in many of those meetings over the years and I wondered why I didn't speak up.

Jan Griffiths: 10:01

And then I learned over the years that at least 80 to 90% of the people in the room probably thought the same way that I did. But maybe they shared some of the same fears that I had and didn't speak up. We all have this need to be liked. And we want to be liked by our peers, and the fear of upsetting them or upsetting the boss. And remember, the boss controls your paycheck, which has a major impact in your life controls your merit increases and promotions. And you're not going to push him or her so far as to damage or influence those kinds of decisions. And I wish I had learned many years ago, that it's okay to put your voice forward and be authentic. And it doesn't mean that you say absolutely everything that's on your mind. That's not what being authentic is no, you speak with respect in a professional way. And you offer your opinion and your perspective in a way that's direct. But you don't have to be an obnoxious ass about it. And that's something that took me a while to learn over the years. And looking back, I wish I had been stronger, putting my voice forward. And it really felt the confidence in my authentic leadership ability. And that's really one of the reasons why I started the podcast is to be able to bring to you leaders who lead in a truly authentic way. And they're not afraid to do all of those things that perhaps we question ourselves doing.

Jan Griffiths: 11:36

I learned from all the podcast guests that I've interviewed. And it's amazing how many authentic leaders there are out there. And one of the things that really resonates with me, is Don Akery, President of TTI, which is a Warren Buffett company. And we ended the podcast, with Don saying, "it's okay to be nice" and It is. Yes, It's okay to be nice. There's some great leaders out there. And what I'm seeing is the command and control leadership model is dead. Yes, of course, it still operates out there, it still exists. But it is not the leadership model of the future, we are not going to be able to attract Gen Z, yes, Gen Z, because we're at the end of millennials. Millennials are already in the workforce. And it's about attracting Gen Z now. And that's not going to happen if we continue to operate with a command and control model. So the leadership model of the future is the authentic leadership model.

Jan Griffiths: 12:43

We're coming up to almost one year now of the podcast. And in one way, shape, or form. All of our guests talk about the traits of authentic leadership, and sharing more of yourself in the workplace and not being afraid that somebody will somehow use that information against you. That's not the case, when you're comfortable in your own skin and your values are aligned, this divide that we used to have between our personal and professional lives, we don't need to have that anymore. I used to feel that way that you had to have this definite line and a distance between those two lives. And in fact, I even look at my closet. And I see two very different wardrobes one for my working life and persona and one for my personal life. But you don't have to do that. It doesn't have to be that way we have and we live one life. And the more that you can connect with people on a very real and personal level, the stronger the leader you will be and the more performance you will actually get out of the team. It is true.

Jan Griffiths: 13:53

Let me talk to you about a much more personal aspect of authentic leadership.

Jan Griffiths: 14:00

In 2020, I made a significant change to my appearance. I got away from that very sharp, angled dark bob haircut and I cut off my hair and I truly embrace the gray. It's actually more silver than gray. And I was scared. I'm not gonna lie, I was. I've had that haircut for decades. My mother used to say years ago that I used to hide behind it. And I never really understood what she meant by that. But you know, I think I do now. I went to work every day during my corporate career dressed from head to toe and designer clothes, shoes, makeup, hair done everything perfect well groomed every single day. Because I thought that's the way I should look for my corporate role. Aside from the fact that I thought I had to wear a corporate mask and act a certain way I thought that I had to look a certain way as well. So for me to change my appearance so drastically after decades of operatingthis wasn't an easy decision. I wanted to get away from spending hours a month in a hair salon and the money that went along with it. And I just, I just want it to be me.

Jan Griffiths: 15:12

I've truly embraced the aging process. And I'm good with it. And I have to tell you, when I cut my hair was incredibly empowering, it felt great. And along with that, I found myself moving away from this need for materialistic possessions. I now find great joy in the simplest things in life. Now, don't get me wrong, I will always appreciate a good designer and good quality clothes, and there will always be a few pieces in my closet. But I don't feel that need to have to have it and look a certain way every single day. I enjoy simple things. I enjoy making tea and toast for my daughter Gwen and my partner Dietrich every morning. It's a simple pleasure, but I really enjoy it helping them get their day off to a great start. Along with this new haircut came the need for some new headshots and photos. And so I called my favorite photographer, Brad Ziegler. Now Brad has been shooting me since the early days when I was in my corporate role. And I was just appointed to the top 100 leading women in Automotive in 2015. And he did that photo shoot. And during that photo shoot he said to meet Okay, well, we've done the professional shots. Now let's take some shots of you the way you really are. What did he say? The way you really are? I didn't quite understand it. He had a sense in that very first session that I wasn't quite my 100% authentic self. And then we took some shots in my favorite black dress and heels and we had some fun with it. And it was a great experience.

Jan Griffiths: 16:55

Then as the years went by, Brad saw me grow into the person I am today. And he saw me evolve into my more authentic self. And then when we did this photoshoot a few months ago, I've never felt so comfortable in front of the camera and he knew it. And I knew it. We barely even had to talk about it because it was so obvious. I've never felt so comfortable in my own skin. It was a real milestone for me, something happened. There was a magic there that moment. And I felt like I had stepped into the light somehow. And Brad with his skill set captured that and you'll see that image on the podcast art for this episode. I feel like I don't have to wear a mask or try to be anything to anybody anymore. I have found my light. I've stepped into it. And I love it. I've truly embraced my own authenticity. I've made significant strides on my personal leadership journey and my quest for Gravitas. And my wish for you is that you will make 2021 the year where you step into your light and embrace all that is truly wonderfully, authentically 100% you. I'll keep bringing you the guests to help you on that journey and sharing all of their insights and everything that I have. So let's launch 2021 with passion, energy and determination to be everything you know you can be and don't let anybody stop you or tell you that you can't. Including that little voice in your head that sometimes holds you back. 2021 is the year to "Dream it. Brand it. Own it."

18:51

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